How to Avoid the Dreaded Halloween

Caleb Kelch

Fall has officially arrived and that means October is among us, and the worst “holiday” of the year is near. Unfortunately, there isn’t anyway to escape Halloween, nor is it possible to just forget about it. Instead, everywhere you go stupid and supposedly “creepy”, but in reality dumb, decorations are hung up and placed all around. With today’s technology, you can’t even go on social media or watch television without seeing these hideous and ridiculous shows or movies consisting of Halloween. How has our world become obsessed with a holiday that makes it okay for people to dress up and eat lots of candy on one day of the year? In all honesty, I would rather it be a week, at least that would make more sense and be a little more fair to those who are obsessed. The real question though is: How do we avoid this dreaded holiday?

One tip is to avoid social media and any entertainment platform that you personally can’t choose exactly what you will be watching. Netflix would be a good option as commercials aren’t a thing, and you won’t have to worry about God awful things happening on your television or computer screen. Maybe try to filter the feed you see on your social media so not even a little “Happy Halloween” pop-up will bother or harm you.

When it comes to walking around, try to keep your head pointed at a downward angle to where the opportunity for a poster, sign, or some sort of decoration has no ability to enter into your eyesight. The thought of seeing one of these decorations makes me sick to my stomach.

Sidenote: How did Halloween even become what it is today? I mean kids nowadays are being raised with the knowledge of Halloween allowing them to dress up as their favorite cartoon character or superhero and being able to eat tons of candy that they have no reason to be eating.

With that statement still fresh, I advise you to stay away from candy. I know it’s tempting and usually pretty delicious, but that only lets “them” win and gain more attention. We must unite and let them know we are here and deserve to be heard. Alas, candy is an amazing creation, but this shows our weaknesses, and at this day and age, we can’t afford to show them.

For the next tip, this may sound a little crazy, but a great way to avoid Halloween is to just avoid people. It makes so much sense, doesn’t it? In fact, how come I have never thought of this before? It’s brilliant. Obviously, know when to ignore people. There are human beings that are wonderful and still appreciate the demented holiday. Luckily, there are the fellow supporters of despising Halloween, and those are people you’ve got to bond and connect with, because those people are a rare kind nowadays.

After that brilliant tip, it’s tough to think of a better one. Halloween is here, and we can’t do anything about getting rid of it this year, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have a chance for the next. If we continue to build our army, we may just be able to fight against the horrifying “holiday” that is called Halloween.

Keep these tips in hand, because you never know when they might need to be used.

Hopefully, one day we’ll live in a world where dressing up for a day and eating a boatload of candy on one day of the year won’t matter as much to people. We can only wish though. So, here’s to the resistance, the hopes and dreams of Halloween no longer existing, and for our October’s to be filled with wonderful weather, beautiful pumpkins, and the brisk breeze of fall air!