Valentine’s Day is here folks, and with that comes to feeling of loneliness that many of my fellow gays feel at this time of year. Let’s face it, it is difficult to find someone who you are comfortable with starting a relationship with. It is also hard to find someone who bats for the same team. It gets to the point where you begin to wonder if you’re just not “gay enough.” You know, you just don’t give off enough of that gay vibe, for people to feel comfortable in approaching you.

You’ve probably done it to other people, seen a person somewhere or met someone who you’re really into but you don’t think they are gay so you let the moment slip by. Then, months later, you find out that they are hella gay and they were hoping that you would make the first move because they weren’t sure about your sexuality. I know, being gay is confusing, and sometimes I wonder why. I don’t just give up and become comfortable with living alone. Then I remember that girls are amazing and to stop planning how many cats I’ll own as a crazy old cat lady.

So, to avoid the confusion, I have one suggestion: be as gay as forking possible. That’s right, you have to give off as much as a gay vibe as you possibly can, because us gays can be oblivious as heck. Seriously, sometimes I need someone to slap me in the face with their feelings because I will not know otherwise. Flirting goes over my head, and I’m left thinking that I have a new friend!

“Alex, how does one reach the super sayan gay?”  Excellent question, fake person that I made up in order transition semi-smoothly! There are a few things that you can do to let your fellow gays know that you are one of them. You could tattoo the word “gay” on your forehead, for example. Not recommended, but it would be pretty straightforward.

Despite its newfound popularity with non-gays, flannel and plaid are the basic calling card for gay women. Not so sure about gay men, maybe the tattoo route would work better for you guys. Another way to attract the gay is to wear discreet rainbow accessories. You know, the kind that homophobic a**hats won’t catch onto but are obvious enough that other members of the community will know. Like a nice bracelet or bandana. Maybe some earrings, subtle makeup could go a long way! Or you could just go to a lot of gay prides and hope that people catch on from your social media posts.

If you’re not out, it’s better to just approach someone. You’re not out for a reason, and it may be dangerous for you to flaunt your sexuality in any way. So be subtle, talk to people, make friends within the community and learn from them before putting yourself out there. All seriousness aside, you could probably still get away with the rainbow makeup.

To be honest, it doesn’t matter how “gay” you look, your fellow gays may still not take the hint. It’s better to just put yourself out there, ask the other person out. The worst that can happen is rejection, and then you can move on. So, good luck out there guys, you may not have found the love of your life yet, but we’re young, so you still have plenty of time!