Its that time of year again: It’s halloween! It’s that time where people dress to the nines to go trick-or- treating and go to parties. Or they just hang out at home eating a whole bowl of candy. No? Just me? Okay.

Anyways, I have a bone to pick with Halloween. More specifically revealing women’s costumes.

I’m sick and tired of rarely finding a practical, realistic women’s costume that isn’t just some thinly veiled male fantasy come to life. It seems like all women’s costumes that are advertised, are not only impractical, they are so revealing and form-fitting you might as well not wear any clothes. It’s one thing if those who identify as female decide they want to dress in revealing costumes; however, it’s another thing for costume retailers to force us to shop and buy those same revealing costumes everywhere we look.

Ain’t nobody got time (myself included)  for those skimpy- revealing, mostly two piece outfits, in this cold bitter weather.  Every time I see those revealing costumes, I just get so upset at those costume retailers/producers (probably males) sitting in a room concocting ideas for these “costumes”. These costume ideas, by the way, are basically trumped up versions of lingerie. Of course there are the usual revealing costumes like, the  “sexy nurse, sexy cat,” and the “naughty school girl.” Yet, this year, I think, costume retailers have taken it too far. So far, I have seen the sexy undecided voter–a female version of Ken Bone that features a red sweater crop top, black pants, and black glasses complete with a mustache for $95.95 through yandy.com. Yandy.com also sells a sexy pizza costume and sexy french fries costume, both are short skimpy dresses made to look like pizza and red package of french fries. Also at one point in time Costumeish.com had a “Parisian Heist Robbery Victim Kit,” costume making light of Kim Kardashian’s robbery in Paris. The costume itself came complete with a “white short sexy robe,” a long black wig, oversized sunglasses, a fake gag, two feet of rope and a “$4 Million Dollar” ring. How fun of Costumeish.com to trivalize Kim’s and many other’s pain, and just in time for Halloween?! I could go on about and the many atrocious and inaccurate revealing women’s costumes but alas we could be here all year if I did that.

Okay, so the solution  for costume retailers is NOT to start making revealing male costumes. Instead, these retailers should start recognizing not everyone who identifies as female wants to dress in revealing costumes for Halloween. Just once I would like to see a costume website and catalog without showcasing only skimpy, form-fitting costumes for women. If I want to dress up like Captain America, I expect to get a actual replica of Captain America’s suit built for my body type. I do not expect to get some flimsy red, white, and blue leotard with a zip front leaving myself highly exposed.

That’s the main issue I have with women’s costumes. Either they are just poor, cheap replicas that expose our bodies–such as bodysuits, form fitting dresses, etc. Or they flat out are made to be ridiculous–such as the sexy subordinate (minion costume),  the ruthless empress (female Darth Vader), or the space battle babe. The list goes on. I have no problem with those who identify as female purposefully dressing themselves up to look sexy. I do, however, have a problem with magazines, websites, catalogs, and costume stores purposefully only showcasing these types of costumes. They are all saying we should be dressing up like this and basically we should be flattered they care enough to provide us such “scandalous costumes” to wear.

I say, they can keep their “scandalous costumes.” I’d rather actually portray whatever I want to dress up as.

Those who identify as men do not get this sort of treatment. If they want to dress up as police, chefs, superheros, etc, they get realistic, actual costumes. I wish they would start creating women’s costumes that acknowledge we are actual people/customers who deserve to live out our fantasies.

I don’t want be the sexy circus girl, I WANT to be the ringleader. I don’t want to be the ruthless empress, I WANT to be Darth Vader. We deserve better than only being shown revealing costumes made for someone else’s enjoyment. At the end of the day, Do You! Don’t dress up in revealing costumes just because you feel like you have to. Have a safe and wonderful Halloween!