Let’s discuss rape and it’s related sexual charges. I truly believe not only is it often not talked about, but it’s deliberately “danced around” in society.  There needs to be a serious overhaul of what consent is not only in the court but in reality as well.

Rape and sexual assault is not seen as a topic to be broached because it’s taboo and most people would tell survivors of such incidents to“bottle it up” and just move on. Yet, “NO one asks to be raped and or sexually assaulted” and this includes men.

“Only 2% of rape and related sex charges are determined to be false”, which is the same percentage for other felonies. So while it does happen and is problematic when it does, that does not excuse the other 98% of rape and related sex charges that are found to be honest. “People are much more likely to disbelieve a woman if she says she was raped than if she says she was robbed, but for no good reason.” Did you know only 40% of rapes are ever reported to the police and this is due to survivors(and victims) knowing if their claim becomes public, their behavior will be scrutinized and their sexual history will be shamed. They will be called all the labels in the book, “a lunatic, psychotic, paranoid, and manipulative, furthermore just because someone does not report their crime does not mean it did not happen.” Only one in two claims leads to prosecution, so if the DA decides not to prosecute that does not negate the rape and it’s related sexual charges.

I’m glad the 1999 rape and sexual allegations of Nate Parker and his friend Jean Celestin are being brought up again, for no other reason than it gives the public a chance to discuss open and honestly  about such actions. However, I know, this case involving Nate Parker and his friend was deliberately brought up but that does not excuse his actions. Nate Parker is an actor and writer who wears many hats such as director and producer. His new film The Birth of a Nation is a narrative that details a slave rebellion that took place in Virginia in 1831.  While a young Nate Parker was a college student at Penn State, in 1999, a woman accused him and his friend Jean Celestin his co-writer for The Birth of a Nation of a rape.

On August, 16, 2016 Nate Parker addressed these allegations and stated “These are my words….” He continued “Please read these separate from any platform I may have, but from me as a fellow human being.” He went to declare he gets why there has been media coverage on his arrest, trial and acquittal on charges of sexual assault. He also goes on to state in hindsight he “should used more wisdom.” He maintained his innocence and said the “encounter was unambiguously consensual.” The overall sentiment of his message was, his actions at the time were unfortunate but he has grown as a man and in his words “I’m a flawed man, but I’m willing to try to get better.”

I’m glad he admits his faults, but as a society we need to do better. It does no good if every time a case like Nate’s, Brock’s and Bill Cosby’s occurs we go through a brief period of  reflection and catharsis only to quickly forget it once it’s convenient to do so. Gabrielle Union an actor attached to Nate’s film has this to say in an Op-Ed in the LA Times and I think it sums up his actions quite well and educates the masses on the discussion of rape we all should have.

“Rape is a wound that throbs long after it heals. And for some of us the throbbing gets too loud. Post traumatic stress syndrome is very real and chips away at the soul and sanity of so many of us who have survived sexual violence…  As important and ground-breaking as this film is, I cannot take these allegations lightly.” “Although it’s often difficult to read and understand body language, the fact that some individuals interpret the absence of a “no” as a “yes” is problematic at least, criminal at worst. That’s why education on this issue is so vital…..

To talk about this stain that lives on in our psyches. I know these conversations are uncomfortable and difficult and painful. But they are necessary. Addressing misogyny, toxic masculinity, and rape culture is necessary. Addressing what should and should not be deemed consent is necessary.” I agree, and in summation “no means no”, no one asks to be raped and we must educate our girls and our boys about rape and sexual assault so we can and should do better.