This story below isn’t a story with a happy ending. (I just thought I would warn you before you were too invested.) It’s a tragic tale of longing and loss, of hope and pain. But if you stick it out, you may learn something, or at least have a few laughs.

Once upon a time, there was a girl who liked to think of herself as an active person. She ran cross country and track in high school and still tried to remain somewhat active in college. Her biggest pet-peeve when working out was carrying her phone around with her while running in order to keep track of how long she had run.

Now, she had one of those nifty armbands, but she found it in the dollar aisle at Target for dirt cheap (a college student’s dream). However, her little noodle arms didn’t have enough oomph to fill up the band, meaning it just slipped right off her arm. What was she to do? She tried tucking her phone into the waistband of her shorts, only to have it fall out during her workouts.

Then one day, she saw an advertisement for a device called a Fitbit. Instantly intrigued by the product, she found herself thinking, what did it do? How much did it cost? And more importantly, where could she get one?

She quickly pulled out her computer and began a search for her long lost fitness companion. After sifting through reviews and articles she was overwhelmed with the possibilities. How could one little device do so many things? It monitors your heart rate, tracks your sleep cycle, tracks your steps, and tells the time? It was a fitness enthusiast’s dream.

She decided to practice her patience (it’s a virtue right?), and decided to wait to purchase the lovely product until she read some more reviews on the devices and made a decision on which one would be best for her.

The months passed and the incredibly indecisive girl finally became fed up with waiting. She decided to ask for one for Christmas since it was only a month away, and waited in anticipation for the day when her Fitbit would be nestled under the tree.

However, as the choir sang their last Christmas carol and the last presented opened, no Fitbit had made its way into her hands. Lucky for this girl, her birthday was less than a month later, so she was sure that she would get her Fitbit then.

Alas, when that day came, still no Fitbit to be found. Dejected, the girl decided to use the money she received for Christmas and just get one herself. She didn’t need anyone else to saving her from the boring life of no fitness tracker. She would save herself.

However, on a dark day while returning to Millikin to begin classes, she was enjoying the music and driving a little too fast in order to get back to school to see her roommates after a long five weeks. All was going fine, until she saw the red and blue lights flashing in her rearview mirror.

Needless to say, her Fitbit money would have to be used to pay for the pesky speeding ticket, much to her dismay. And now, the girl has to wait until she can save the money in order to make her desired purchase. She waits in impatient desire as she tries to search for every nickel and dime hidden in her couch cushions and underneath her car seats.

Her only solace is the new Fitbit Alta. Its sleek design and beautiful colors is enough to keep her patient until its release in March.

This is Caitlin.

Caitlin waited too long to buy her Fitbit then got a speeding ticket.

Caitlin is not smart.

Don’t be like Caitlin, get the Fitbit.