What it’s like to be a Tiny Ball of Rage

Get ready readers, you are about to be educated on what it is like to be short. For those of you, who do identify as short, get ready to read about some pretty relatable problems. Now let me introduce myself, my name is Alexsenia, I’m five-foot even, I like pandas, and my nickname within my friend group is tiny lesbian Jesus. (It’s best not to ask why that is, it’s a long story). As someone who is considered below the national average for height among females, nicknames like tiny, child, small one, and shorty are common and very unoriginal. They are also slightly annoying. I mean, I get it, I am small and you literally can look down upon me. I am easy to pick up and manhandle. But come on, the least you can do is come up with something original.

Short people spend their lives overcoming obstacles that people of the average height (or taller) do not. Some examples include, but are not limited to, kitchen cabinets, which were not made with short people in mind. The kitchen counter becomes a climbing wall when cooking. I, personally, have acquired many a bruise jumping/falling off of them after trying to reach something in the cabinet. There’s also the problem of people thinking that you are a child, (I am a grown adult person gosh-darn it). This is fine when you’re at a restaurant and you want to get a free kids meal, but its super annoying when you want to be taken seriously. Then there is the fact that one of your steps equals three of your friends’. Which makes keeping up with then not only a hassle, but a workout. The clothes that fit your waist are often too long and the ones that are the right length do not fit around your waist. This makes clothes shopping a literal nightmare, do designers not realize that not everyone is five foot seven?

I have recently discovered that yet another problem people who are not vertically inclined face is stacked dryers. When I am doing laundry I pray that at least one dryer that is in the bottom row is free, because I have a hard time just reaching into the things, let alone putting my clothes in them. Every time I am forced to use the top dryers I have to grab either a chair or a tall friend to put my clothes in and take them out.

Being so small does affect how other people treat me. I am often talked over in conversation. I am seen as fragile and slightly weak and my friends often try to help when I don’t need it. Which to be honest, that’s sometimes fine because I can often be stubborn and often try to refuse help when I do need it.  I have literally been picked up and moved when people wanted to get past me because my strides were not long enough. No one wants to be manhandled, people! Just because you can pick me up to move me out of the way does not mean you should!

Life as a short person is oftentimes frustrating, especially when you’re constantly surrounded by people who are at least three inches taller. Having to look up at people when talking to them so that you aren’t graced with only their chest is the reason my neck hurts at the end of the day.

Even though being short is often a hassle and can be kind of frustrating, I wouldn’t want to be tall. My shortness is a part of who I am, and I kind of love the fact that I can be engulfed in hugs because I’m so small. So to all those shortys out there, show the world what a tiny ball of rage can do and don’t let those mean tall people get you down.