First World Problems


This week I reorganized my room, and with any sort of reorganizing there were causalities, items that seem to drop into an abyss, never to be seen again. This particular time this item happened to be not just one, but both pairs of my tweezers, and this isn’t the first time I’ve lost them either.

I have two pairs of tweezers just so I always have one when I lose the other, but that doesn’t help when both pairs of decided to take a vacation. I’ve tried everything to make them obnoxiously noticeable as possible, they’re brightly colored and have rhinestones on them (shout out to Target, you da real MVP). Unfortunately, both of my strategies failed so, I began my struggle of living a life tweezer-less.

My first thought was that, hey, no big deal, they have to turn up eventually, then I noticed that my eyebrows had picked up a caterpillar quality to them. It’s slow torture to see my eyebrows each day get more and more unruly. Everyday feels like I have a big sign on my forehead that says PLEASE DON’T LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS THEY’RE NOT ON FLEEK.

Eyebrows can be a tricky thing for some. I’ve seen some pretty cringe worthy pictures of drawn on eyebrows. Eyebrows are meant to be grown, not drawn on people. Also, tweezing your eyebrows is like defusing a bomb, one wrong move and then its all over. Personally, my eyebrows never totally match, but always remember that your eyebrows are sisters, not twins.

Whose idea was it to make it gross not to pluck your eyebrows? Really, why is shaving and hair plucking only a woman thing? I can almost guarantee that the whole concept of a woman having to shave EVERYTHING was made by a man. Why can’t men shave too? I’d honestly appreciate a man rocking some shiny smooth legs for once. Or at least take care of his eyebrows.

In the summer women everywhere groan because summer is a three-month sentence of shaving your legs. Then you’re not allowed to scrape your knees or be clumsy since any sort of imperfection on your legs is unattractive.

While we’re on the topic, how come guys only have to shave their face? Some don’t even do that. I’m not hating on facial hair, but just like eyebrows, guys need to take care of them. There’s nothing more unkissable than that bird’s nest on your face. Sometimes guys need to just know if they have the right face for facial hair since it’s pretty awkward to see a man with a baby face sporting an unkempt beard. The point is that why is it such a big deal for women to stop shaving and then it’s okay for a man not to shave. It’s a terrible deal.

So, for now, I’ll be putting up flyers for the safe return of my tweezers. Until then, I’ll just pretend I’m making a statement to the world when in reality I just can’t find my tweezers.