Oy, it’s too hot! Yeah that’s right, I said it, it’s too hot. Hot, you read it right. With sub-zero wind chills, I am over here sweating through my clothes.

If there is one thing that Millikin is doing right, it’s their heating game. My room stays a nice warm tropical climate all year. From the moment I moved in back in August, it has been well over toasty in room. What do you mean, Matthew? I have been freezing! It’s so cold outside, I can’t believe they are making us walk to class, how are you complaining about being too hot? They’re all questions people ask me when I tell them that I’m actually quite hot in the middle of winter.

I’m hot, and not in the good sexy way, that Christian Grey way. I am roasting like a turkey in the oven at Thanksgiving. Maybe my concerns are a little First World specific to myself, but someone else on this campus as to agree, when the first chilly wind blows in, the heat gets cranked sky high, and suddenly my room transforms into a luau on the beach in Hawaii.

I am a very naturally warm person, so you must understand my discontent with the fire from the pits of hell that come issuing forth from the vent in my tiny closet, I mean bedroom. Which leads me into my next puzzle, why is it that when the temperature suddenly drops, that people need to make the places they inhabit warmer than they would any other time of the year? Can’t we just find one comfortable living temperature and stay at the lovely living spot all year long? Just because it got a wee bit nippy outside, does not mean that it suddenly needs to be 85 degrees inside.

Unless there suddenly becomes a normal temperature that we can all live at together, I am going to have to start wearing two outfits a day. Outfit one, winter wear to brave the long journey in the frigid weather across our obscenely large campus, the five minute brisk morning walk, and then the outfit I would like to call, “Hello, I am tourist, look at my khaki shorts and floral dad shirt.” Because when I go to my classes, I feel as though I should be on holiday in the Bahamas not an English class.

If the air conditioning worked in the summer half as well as the heat worked in the winter, well then I would be happy camper. If you’re cold put a sweater on, there are only so many layers of my clothing I can take off before I’m rocking the birthday suit. It’s easy to get warm, it’s harder to get cold. I just ask that we regulate the temperature a little better, there is no need to overcompensate for the cold outside by turning the heat on Sahara Desert. It is, how do you say, too hot, Millikin.