So, the Men’s Rights Movement. The Movement for Men’s Rights.

Rights for Men.

Movement.

Men.

Rights.

Alright, time for honesty hour: I’m not actually sure why men need a rights movement. I’m totally aware that men do have some legitimate issues that need addressing, but it seems like other specialized groups have them covered. Father’s Rights is fighting the very real custody bias in courts across the country. I can’t think of any other men’s issues off the top of my head that would require a rights movement.

Okay! A quick Google search has shown me all the horrific oppression men have to deal with on a daily basis. Boys are discriminated against in schools! Men alone have had to deal with the horrors of war! Men can’t get out of paying child support if their girlfriend refuses to get an abortion! Feminism is literally ruining their lives, you guys! Literally!

And this prestigious movement, which exists mostly online (yet seems to be creeping out of the Internet and into real life), has tons of solutions for their problems. After years of discussion, the Men’s Rights Movement has collectively aired their grievances (of which there are many) and pointed to a staggeringly simple yet oh-so effective solution: blame feminism.

Seriously, everyone, men’s lives were gravy before that pesky women’s rights movement came along! There they were, drinking their drinks and playing their games and voting their votes when women had to come along and shove themselves out of the kitchen and into society. They’re taking a strong stance against the matriarchy. And who knows, perhaps some day, with hard work, a man will rise to the position of President of the United…oh. Well, maybe they’ll fight for their right to protect their…country…hold on…Wait! I got it! They’ll finally be able to close the wage gap between…um…never mind.

Yeah! Damn the (wo)man! Save the mens!