Life is not always awesomesauce. Nothing lasts forever, and nothing is guaranteed. Not even life. Not a single one of us is immortal, no matter how much we might wish otherwise. None of us likes it, but let’s face it: death is and always will be part of our lives. That means at some point we will all face the pain of mourning.
If you have never mourned the loss of a friend or family member, you are quite fortunate indeed. It’s a horrible pain, enough to make you feel like your heart is breaking into a thousand tiny, sharp pieces. The pain of grief hurts worse than being shot, thrown through a window and mortally wounded all at once. It’s not fun and it’s not fair. But, once again, it’s part of life. We can’t ignore it and we can’t avoid it.
We can, however, get through it. Mourning and grief bring pain, but that pain will heal with time. The first thing you may find yourself asking is this: Why? Why did this happen? It’s a perfectly normal question, one we all find ourselves asking at one point or another. However, the sad fact is that sometimes it’s unanswerable. Sometimes, “Why?” is a question we’re not meant to know the answer to. I was raised to believe that everything happens for a reason, that it’s all part of God’s plan. Usually I have no problem accepting that, but when unexpected deaths occur I can’t help asking questions. In between tears you, too, may find yourself questioning the tragedy. That’s a perfectly normal human reaction. Go ahead. Let it out.
The biggest bit of advice I can give to anyone who is facing grief is this: talk to someone. Talk to family. Talk to friends, classmates, professors, counselors or religious leaders. The “who” here doesn’t really matter. Find someone you trust and talk to them as frequently as possible. In difficult times, a shoulder to cry on and an understanding ear can go a long way towards healing a grieving heart. Just talk, knowing that the person gets how you’re feeling.
“Time heals all wounds” is a popular saying. There is a grain of truth to it as well. With time, the pang is slowly but surely lifted from a grieving heart. We would all like for the chance to turn back time, to make it so that the death or tragedy never happened. As we all know, though, that’s not possible. Things will never be the same as they were before. Never. That’s just the way it goes. However, with time, things will slowly but surely start to feel “okay” again. It may take a while, but rest assured, it will happen. I promise.
To all of my readers, regardless of whether you are facing grief or not, I would like you to know that you are all here for a reason. Life does not always make sense, but we must all learn to take the good with the bad. Know that you are loved. Know that you are unique, incredible people. Above all else, never forget that you are all awesomesauce.