Is Bernie Sanders a Disney Princess?

Due to some recent developments, it is obvious that many potential voters may be asking the same question. Is presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders a Disney princess? Well, your friendly neighborhood suffering college student is here to answer that question. So after spending hours researching the subject I have come to an interesting conclusion. My answer is yes, yes Bernie Sanders is in fact a Disney princess.

I have gathered a list of characteristics of a Disney princess after watching Disney movies for most of my childhood/adulthood. These characteristics are present in almost every single Disney princess. Bernie Sanders possesses many of these royal characteristics.

Characteristic numero uno: animals love Disney princesses. In almost every Disney movie in existence there is some instance where animals help out the princess. In Cinderella it is the mice who help her make her first dress. In Mulan it’s Mushu, her trusty dragon sidekick and “protector.” In Disney’s “Enchanted,” Gisele cleans the apartment with the help of pigeons, rats, flies, and cockroaches. That scene was obviously a nod towards Disney’s notoriously animal friendly past. You may be wondering, how does Bernie Sanders fit into this mess of Disney characters? Well, during one of Bernie’s speeches a small bird flew onto his podium and stayed there. If you look up “Bernie Sanders and bird” on Google images, you’ll be likely to see multiple pictures of Bernie with his hands up in confusion while a tiny bird sits and watches him. The bird eventually flew away, but not before many of his supporters took pictures and posted them on social media. Supporters also created fanart of Bernie as a small bird named “Birdie Sanders.”

Characteristic number two: easily lovable. If you don’t love every single Disney princess at least a little bit, then you’re lying to yourself. Name any Disney princess and there’s most likely at least 100 little girls (and grown girls) out there who are obsessed with them. Disney princesses are naturally curious, strong, and, as of late, independent. These personality traits are what makes them lovable. That, and their subconscious need to burst into the perfect song and dance to fit every occasion. Bernie Sanders is strong, honest, and sure of his cause. These traits may not be those of a Disney princess, but nevertheless, they are traits that have gained him supporters from all across the country. Honestly, it’s almost hard not to love him.

Characteristic number three: interesting hair. Every Disney princess has some interesting/wonderful hair style. Jasmine has her awesome braid thing, Ariel has magic hair that never looks crappy wet, and Bernie Sanders has hair that can only be described as “better than Donald Trump’s.” At this point that is all that matters.

Characteristic number four: both Sanders and many Disney princesses have fought for what they believe is right. Whether that be the right for her own hand like Merida, or because someone was not strong enough to fight so she fought for them, like Mulan. Bernie Sanders is not afraid to fight for what he believes in. Supporters see that during his speeches, in his refusal to give up after potentially crippling losses, and even his past. Sanders has been fighting for what he believes in for longer than many of his supporters have been alive and that in itself is admirable.

So after conducting hours of research and looking up Bernie Sanders memes, I have come to the conclusion that Bernie Sanders is a Disney princess. So get your act together Disney, I expect to see Princess Sanders at Disneyland. I also need Princess Bernie overpriced merchandise, thanks.