Stressful Relaxation

April 16, 2020

This might surprise everybody, but I can’t focus on things in the slightest! I used to have trouble getting work in on time for classes as it was, but now it feels like all my motivation is gone.

I don’t think I’m lazy, it’s just my environment. I’ve done everything I can to make my house a cool and fun place to hang out and relax. It feel impossible to do things in the comfort of my house.

I used to always go to the library, or the radio studios to get work done. I would go to places I already associated with working hard, but when I’m at home, it’s hard to force myself into my work-mode.

Even if I push myself into work-mode, I can only last it for about an hour

Along with this, I kind of feel cheated. I didn’t choose my school so that I could stay home, I like going to class and engaging in discussions with my classmates and professors. Now, I know none of us chose for things to work this way, but it’s just another reason I’m resistant to working.

Even if I push myself into work-mode, I can only last it for about an hour.

Like most seniors, I feel like school should have let us graduate if we had good grades before spring break. I know that’s not necessarily fair, but neither is giving extra assignments just because we’re not meeting in class.

I was preparing for the real world and doing things for work, but honestly, most of these online class course work feel more and more like busywork by the week.

Then again, sticking-it-out is better than some of the students who are just stopping and planning to take an extra semester next year. Doing something like that feels like a waste. The economy just took a hit, and you’re going to wait even longer to get out there? It just doesn’t feel like a good strategy.

I need to figure out what I’m going to do. It’s a weird paradox. I’m stressed because I have things I need to get done, but I’m too relaxed–or not in the right state–to get the work done. I hope I’m not the only one feeling like this. I always thought more time at home would make me more productive, but it turns out I’m wrong.

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